Many of us say our families are the most important possessions we could have; however, how many of us are willing to wade through a violent storm to keep our families together?
I've talked to many single-parent women and heard them speak about their struggles. They explain how their significant others left them with the responsibility to take care of their children alone. I hear their stories; I listen and understand. Believe it or not, I can identify with them. In many cases, our battles are synonymous.
My name is David Monroe and I am a single parent in Houston, TX. Unfortunately, in my case, the tables are turned. Right now, although for the last three years (in fact my children's entire lives) I have taken my responsibility as a father very seriously, I am in a war to keep my children. Even though, as a man, had I been deemed an unfit parent, the court case would have been open and shut, I find myself in a three year fight as my ex has an opportunity to improve herself so she can have custody of our children of whom she never before took an interest in. Therefore, the purpose of this blog is to expose the bureaucracy of the family court system while while we also explore our responsibilities in friendship, relationship and family.
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Help me spread this message: We must love our families unconditionally. It doesn't matter what anyone else does, we are responsible for our own actions. Just as, according to the west African proverb, it takes a village to raise a child. However, if the village is broken, so will the product it produces. Let's find solutions to ensure our lives work in concert with the word of God:
"every joint supplies, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, makes increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love." Ephesians 4:16
It is good to know that a man has the "want" to take care of his children rather than leaving the full responsibility to the mother. I commend you on that. I have been a single mother of three boys for 11 years now, since my divorce, with no participation from their father. I hate the fact that I have been left to raise men without the one man who should be involved in their life. I just thank God for his mercy and love which has guided me throughout these trying times.
ReplyDeleteAmen Lujuan! I feel you! I have two boys and their fathers are inconsistent and at many times totally unavailable. My oldest is 15 and I know the struggle I face on a daily basis because of it.
ReplyDeleteDavid, thank you for taking the time to tell your story. I know it's not easy to expose your life to to others; however, I also understand the benefits it may have for others to hear that they're not alone. I can't wait to hear the rest of the story!
@ Lajuan and Whitecloud. I'm not sure if you read the above information correctly but how can you agree whith anything that was said? Remember there are always two sides to every story. How many of us have herd of a man being spiteful in his own ways just to hurt someone. As women we all know our children comes first. With all men that is not the case. Yes, there are some good men out there who could be best fit to raise there children. In those very rare cases the mother is considered unfit because she is either: on drugs, in jail, neglectful, living in unsafe environment etc...just to name a few. In this case as far as any of you know the mother can be very capable of raising her children. Just because a man wants to take care of his doesn't mean he has to be the sole parent raising the children. So, let's not comment on what we don't know. What I know for a fact is that this ex that the man is speaking of is very capable of taking care of her children. She is very well respected in her community, church and her family. Her children has always came first from what I have seen. I have only known her all my life. Some men are not happy with themselves and have a case of low self esteem. In this event men will scheem, lie and hurt others just to get ahead. Yes, this case has gone on for three years but has he taken into consideration once what this is doing to his children. If he really cared so much, why not try to come to a compromise? What kind of man would want their children to be without a mother. I know how it feels to be a single parent but I would never shut out my childs father. He made that choice on his own. What I really want to say is that this blog is a big load of mess and for anyone to post a reply in support of this so called man doesn't know the whole story. Like I said before I have been there and seen it for myself and his words are not reliable and so far from the truth.
ReplyDelete@ chanerica,
ReplyDeleteRespectfully speaking, I am simply supporting David's right to assert his 1st amendment privilege. I have no idea what you're talking about, but David's story is NOT unique. Yes, there are two sides to every story...EVERY STORY! However, I KNOW too many men who share the same story as him...It is the TRUTH; I am a woman and I know that we have the upper-hand in family court! It seems you know more than I do about the situation (since he hasn't said anything specific yet).
I don't understand why you think you have the right to regulate what I (or anyone else) says. I don't appreciate it! Have your own opinion, but don't try to step on mine.
Oh yeah, as for where children should go, they should go with the parent who is MOST FIT to care for them. All of this foolish allegiance to motherhood when NOT all women care about their children is a bunch of CRAP! I've seen that too! Woman who are manipulative (not sure if she is or not) are not FIT to care for their children. I have a friend right now who doesn't even SEE his KIDS because of a WACK court order! He is crushed and she STILL manipulates the kids and uses them to manipulate him! I SEE IT and IT's NOT right! He lost so much! He pays an astronomical amount of child support and barely gets to see his children. IT's NOT FAIR!
Repeat, in the future, don't come off attacking people for being supportive of someone who is raising his children. I support my brothers and I'm not ashamed of it! If you have a problem w/that...start your OWN blog!
As a Licensed Master Social Worker I wish I had a dollar for every child I had to deal with after a divorce. When I wnt through my divorce I promised myself I would not allow my children to see and feel the anger I had for their father. I have watched this divorce unfold from a far and have prayed unceasingly that this would end for the children's sake. @Whitecloud why are women so apt to support a man who says he is a single father wanting to raise their children and not ask the hard questions. How many men have you met who told you one thing and after falling in love realized that they were not who they said they were. As women we are so quick to grab any man who tells us what we want to hear. Yes I am a professional social worker but I also was a single parent of children born to a man who was a teacher and a preacher who gave the appearance of being a good father but was not!! You have decided to believe this man sight unseen! I have been a silent by-stander as I watched these children pulled through this madness because this man is upset that the woman was tired of being misearble and simply wanted peace and to raise her children as her parents raised her. Let's be real here - this man simply wants to control a woman that he has lost and because of his bitterness has decided to hurt this woman by the only means he knows how - her children!!!! @Whitecloud I am only responding to you because you really do not know the whole story and I am only responding because I am concerned about the chidlren. I am not saying that he is not a good father, that is not the issue. The issue is he is mad at the mother! But if he was a real man and truly loved his chuldren he would try to work a relationship out with the mother to raise their children. Come on whitecloud you want your children to have both their parents right? Lets be real this is simply BS! Trust me this is not a real man and the children are suffering. I could care less about why this marriage ended - it did now move the hell on and deal with the truth - THE CHILDREN!!!!! @David WAKE UP MAN SHE IS GONE - If you were indeed happy you would not be posting on this blog - and if this was indeed the truth and she was unfit you would allow the courts to work....... I am a part of the court system and it does work! @Whitecloud if you know how GOD works read John 8:32 :::Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
ReplyDeleteRespectfully speaking...in this case the story given it far from the truth. But to post your life story online when your children are of age to read this is very careless as a parent and childish. If you are going to write about something just be honest. Nobody's perfect but God himself. We all have the right to believe who and what we want and not to be ahamed but to speak anything but is unjust. As for my own blog...for something on this topic I wouldn't waste my time.
ReplyDeleteCynthia, did you read the blog? I read it and I enjoyed what read and I commented on it. I support it. I believe we do need to take responsibility for what we do. What are you talking about? Did you read anything I read?Hmmm...all of this circumlocution only proves that there is something deeper here.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I will continue to support your blog because anything worth this much controversy concerning things you have not spoken to must be worth reading!
Wow! Although I don't live anywhere near Houston, TX, I understand what it means to run interference! I watch too much football! Right now what I see is people on the defense. People who obviously, for whatever reason have an ax to grind.
David, your blog must have your ex fuming as I am certain the last two respondents are from her family. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Wow...smh! There must be some real truth that needs to be revealed. Please, stop being modest and tell us what these women are talking about!
@ Chanerica,
ReplyDeleteDo you think the kids are not aware of what they see? If they read it, what would they think of you and your comments about their father? Cynthia isn't even sure how she feels about David (one minute she's saying she has nothing against him while the next she is saying he's controlling and so on)...Are you serious?
Anyhow, I was saying you should start you own blog about your story. That's what I meant.
The two of you have blown this thing all out of proportion. I feel that there is so much more we could be doing rather than attacking one another.
It doesn't make sense! It seems that you want someone to acquiesce to your opinion which is likely based on your bias when all we are saying is: GO David for wanting to take care of your children in a society where more black me are usually running from their children! That's all!
I guess we see things differently because we are not tied to the situation based on our proximity to other people involved...SO sad...very, very sad!
@Whitecloud this is really not about you and I will not dignify this with going toe to toe with you.... I told you the truth - the real truth whether you want to believe it or not! I have nothing to lose by posting on this blog and could care less about what you think of me. Yes mam Iknow both parties and know the real truth - that's the difference between you and me. I use to have great respect for this person and one day I pray that I will again. I wish him peace and happiness in his life, but I believe a realt real man would not fight their battles on the internet..... Again the truth will prevail - the one thing I know children love both their parents and it is nothing that one can do to make the other one out to be the bad person. I pray that you never have to meet a man who would drag your children through this situation..... I am impressed Deacon that you took all this effort to write this blog - have you asked yourself what the point of this is? What do you hope to gain? When you go to bed at night do you really have the peace that you are portraying on here? I am praying for you Sir that you will begin to utilize the Bible that you are slinging around. What message are they preaching at that church you attend? I will not talk you whitecloud because you are right you are simply voicing your opinion - but David you know the truth and simply speaking is this worth your children's future? The only thing I will to say to you Whitecloud is I have set silently by and said nothing as these things have unfolded - but yes I have some hard feelings for this situation because of two innocent children. You had your say and I had mine and yes there are truths to be told - but you only appear to want to hear David's. Peace and Blessings.....
ReplyDeleteYep Cynthia. You're right because I'm reading this blog to get "His Perspective." If I want a woman's perspective, I'll read my own blog.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it is a shame that you guys have used his blog as a platform to defend someone when the whole purpose of this blog is to get HIS perspective!
Honestly, I don't want to go tit for tat with either of you, but I have a problem with someone using someone else's blog as an opportunity to attack people who read and comment. If it means I'm the only one commenting on the blog, I will be, but for someone who actually "doesn't have anything against David" you definitely have a lot of negative energy to spew out.
I feel your purpose is to sabotage the blog and that is an even bigger shame!
You are damn straight that the last two respondents are from her family. It's obvious that you women know nothing about David except for the lies that he continues to tell. It's also obvious that David didn't write any of this because everybody that knows him, knows that he is always too high on somebody else's prescription medication to write anything. As for you, Whitecloud, the author of this blog, you need to find something better to do with your time. Before you take on a new customer, know something about them.
ReplyDelete@ Karen, I have no idea what issues you guys have with this blog, but I am a follower of this blog. I am also a teacher and I live all the way in NC and could care less about what you are talking about. I don't HAVE any customers girl; I'm a STATE worker! So, before you start making assumptions about ME you need to ASK and not tell.
ReplyDeleteHATERS!
Whatever is going on with his David and his ex must be pretty bad for the courts to give him custody...or is he lying about that?! Every woman with some > sense knows that women are the ones who usually get custody of their children...duhhhh! Something must be wrong and I can't wait to hear about it!
The truth is, this blog happens to have a positive purpose and everyone should have an opportunity to share their story!
Smh @ women who stand in the middle of the freeway tryin' to direct traffic.
Let me first say as a REAL Christian I am appauled at how some people will quote the Bible and follow it with so many malicious lies. @ the so called followers of this blog I would hope you all have mind of your own to make your own decision based on more than the words of some jealous hearted, lonely, angry, manipulative specimen of a man that has written this blog. I will also say If you follow people and are unaware of the truth you could be following Jim Jones so please if you haven't learned anything don't believe everything someone feeds you because in this and many cases there is a viscious motive!!
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ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand is why you people get on here and say your piece, but are not woman enough to say who you are. This back and forth is truly sophomoric. I've got people trying to accuse me of writing a blog because they were nosy and intrusive enough to look up my OPEN profile and see that I'm a writer, yet every single one of you had ONE purpose and one purpose ONLY...to slander and malign someone!
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed David hasn't said anything at all about your comments. Get out of here. Whether you like the content or not, everyone has a voice and should be permitted to exercise it!
Everyday, just about, I have to hear someone on TV tell half-truths and spewing out ungodly foolishness. I come on a blog to read someone's story and all of a sudden all I get to read is a bunch of bitter women who barely identify themselves and come on the blog talking in vehement circumlocutions. It's appalling. Honestly, if his ex is related to any of you, you're just making her look ghetto, half-witted and foolish. Any uncoof woman with some pride in her own visage wouldn't even get on a blog trying to pick it apart and any woman who was a Christian would be able to trust God for reciprocity.
Am I judging you? No. Just telling you how stupid it looks for you and your "who-evers" (because no one else has any idea who you are because you're not brave enough to just put yourself out there like everyone else) to be going back and forth as though you don't have anything better to do that show the blog to one another and comment on something you know that the rest of us clearly don't. And to be honest, the fact that you are so adamant to defend your "whoever she is to you" and the fact that David hasn't attempted to attack any of you back makes me think there is more truth to what he's saying (as I said before). I'm sure you won't be able to resist a half-read, half-hearted come-back so go right ahead.
It's obvious you get way too much power from standing on an empty soap-box anyway. I swear the most caddy, childish...smh!
Oh, I almost forgot:
ReplyDeleteHere's what it means to follow a blog:
http://www.google.com/support/blogger/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=104226
Whitecloud..you are so correct. I think I know a little something about this situation as well...as i know both sides i was there they day they met and the day they separated...and true two sides to every story but..the kids are with Him and he is not the one paying so the courts must know something family and friends do not see..
ReplyDeleteWow! Smh Randell! I'm glad someone who was close to the situation spoke up because I'm not, and, while I don't have anything against anyone else who commented, I have a problem with people being negative. I personally support his blog because I know how it is to go though something difficult and finally find your voice.
ReplyDeleteIt's liberating to talk about what you've gone through and it helps and heals others.
The only issue I have is for people to buck against someone's freedom of speech all in the name of exercising their own.
Although I don't speak for David, I do know that there must be a reason why the courts saw fit to award his primary custody, and, if she's paying child support... WOW! That's unusual!
Like I aforementioned, there has to be a reason why you have such a strong page-viewing on this blog.
So glad you stepped up for David.
David, I can't imagine how much drama you have to live with...smha...All of a sudden, after being attacked for standing up for a fellow writer's right to freely express his views, I have a brand new respect for the peace I enjoy in my life.
Selah...
Selah...
whitecloud not a problem...my real name is Cedric and everyone who reads this that knows the situation knows me...and i agree its about David speaking whats on his mind and his thoughts...
ReplyDeleteall the comments about christianity well as far as I remember only GOD can judge..and we all have to stand before him and give an account...and no one is perfect...we cannot say who is a real christian or not because no one on earth knows the heart. And yes i am waiting on the attacks on me...but oh well..life goes on....
My name is Yolanda. Amen, I truly amen you for that. I know God is not pleased with a lot of the references to judging others and I asked Him to forgive me for being so blunt. I never meant to offend or judge anyone, but I have a thing for us dragging people's names in the mud when they speak out. We choose who we do it for though. I just feel that many of the attacks, though unnecessarry, speaks to a person's character or the lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteI hope that we can talk about something positive now and that people can set their differences aside and agree to disagree. God knows we're so much better together. Black men have enough people speaking them down (then a sistah is pissed when he winds up w/a white woman who loves and appreciates him into his purpose).
Don't get me started w/that...I've been through some stuff and I STILL know our worth together!
I'm so displeased with some of the things i've read on here!!! I'm well aware that some of you can care less about what I feel or have to say for that matter, but oh well! All the disrespect and bashing is for what?? NOTHING!!! What is crazy to me is that the ones who are bashing are the very same ones who have always said how good of a man David is! I understand standing up for the one you love the most but be true in what you speak! There is alot I could bring out but what good would that do? absolutely NOTHING!!!! WE all know how wonderful a father David is and how much he loves his kids!!! So why get upset when he is only sharing his thoughts and feelings! None of us can tell him how to feel about his current situation! This circumstance is hard for everyone who is involved so why make it harder!kept all negativity to your self or better yet stop showing your self on this blog making childish mess!!! Everybody has something going on in their life that needs a little work, so if we all concentrate on our own self issues and stop making other peopls issues worse than what it really is then we AlL would be better off!!!!! GESH!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete